The Difference Between Sheep & Goats

I gazed across a lush, green, undulating field that stretched as far as my eyes could see. This was somewhere in Wisconsin. I’d been driving for hours when I happened to notice farm signs peppering the little country roads. Growing up in a big city, I’d never seen large herds of… well, anything. So, I made a detour and found a farm. The sheep’s white contrasted sharply with the deep green of the fields. There were so many sheep that my untrained eye couldn’t count them. After a few minutes, a middle-aged farmer in stereotypical overalls and various layers of flannel called out to me with a thick Wisconsin brogue (they never pronounce the “g” at the end of a word). He was friendly and talkative in a quiet, hard-working midwestern way. Eventually, I asked him about raising sheep. “Sheep and goats,” he corrected. I didn’t see goats, so I asked, “Do you keep the goats somewhere else?” “Nah, they’re out there with the sheep,” he said. I squinted into the bright sunlight, still not seeing goats. Then, he added helpfully, “They’re hard to spot from a distance; they just blend in with the sheep.”

They Blend In

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you whom my Father blesses; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world (Matthew 25:31-34).”

A common thread runs through the Old and New Testaments, which likens God to a shepherd and us as His sheep. Surveys show that Psalms 23:1, “the Lord is my Shepherd,” is the most well-known verse in the Bible. Jesus added several layers to this analogy, like ravenous wolves disguised as sheep (Matthew 7:15), people who try to sneak into Heaven without using the sheep’s gate (John 10:1) and introduced the concept of pastoral under-shepherds (John 21:16). All of these are just examples, of course. False prophets aren’t literally wolves, but they are cunning and dangerous like wolves. Nevertheless, the shepherding and animal comparisons Jesus used are remarkably relevant today.

I’ve found that, much like looking over that Wisconsin field and struggling to differentiate the sheep from the goats, from a distance, sheep and goats blend together in our churches too. Eventually, the goats act like goats, or you get close enough to tell, but they can coexist for a long time. Interestingly, Jesus doesn’t have trouble telling the difference, but rather than separating the herd right now, He’s waiting until judgment day. God is content to let the goats play like sheep until the final moment when hearts are revealed at the throne. Until then, our church communities have goats blending in with the sheep. Occasionally, goats paw the ground, show their horns, and reveal their true nature. That can be especially sad if, up to that moment, you believed they were sheep.

You Should Smell Like Sheep

If you can forgive a transparent moment, I want to share a story that dramatically impacted my thinking on this subject. Years ago, an individual began attending services regularly, our church was much smaller, and I was far more naïve. He was shy and troubled. It took a long time to get his background story. He already had the Holy Ghost, but his church background was impossible to follow. He’d just been to so many places of every denomination and creed. It’s no exaggeration to say I spent countless hours on the phone counseling, in-person fellowshipping, or teaching Bible studies with him. But, no matter how much time I gave him, it was never enough.

In the beginning, he was incredibly faithful. But a strange cycle eventually manifested of randomly disappearing for months at a time. He’d attend a random church for a few months and then show back up at our church with a story about how badly that other church had failed him. The first several times this happened, I chased him down (figuratively) to check on him and encourage him to get settled here. I called, texted, and even knocked on his door. I quit doing that, however. You see, I realized if he was going to be faithful, it would take a heart change, not just an encouraging word.

One day he showed back up at church and aggressively confronted me, shouting, “You should smell like sheep!” He said, “Jesus left the church to find the lost sheep, and you should too!” I was stunned and hurt. I let guilt wash all over me. Had I been wrong not to keep chasing and chasing and chasing? I mean, Jesus did talk about leaving the flock to find the one lost sheep. I stammered and told him all the sincere things I could think of to assure him I cared about his soul and did indeed want to be a good pastor. I agreed to meet him for coffee very soon. He never returned my calls, and I didn’t see him again for six months.

The evening after that verbal ambush, I spent a good deal of time in prayer about the situation. As pastors do, I replayed everything in my mind over and over again. Did I do enough? Was I approachable? Am I inadequate? How can I duplicate myself so I can give everyone all the time they need? Lord, help me be a better pastor. Lord, how can I meet the insatiable needs and overwhelming demands? Lord, I don’t want to be responsible for lost sheep. And God let me twist in the wind for a good while before gently saying, “your job is to feed sheep, not chase goats.”

Sheep Wander, Goats Run Away

Put aside the fact that the Parable of the Lost Sheep (Luke 15:1-7) is really a story about winning the lost and not about chasing stray saints. But regardless, good shepherds search for lost sheep and do their best to bring them safely back home. Tragically, sometimes the wolves, the goats, the elements, or all three have already taken their toll when a shepherd locates them. Here’s a little observation the Lord helped me unearth: Lost sheep may wander away and get hurt or lost, but goats run away and resist being brought back to the fold. When lost sheep see their shepherd, they are happy and relieved. Yes, they might be embarrassed or ashamed too. But mostly, they are thankful for the help. Goats, on the other hand, are defiant, angry, and defensive. A goat isn’t going to let you put him on your shoulders and take him home, as Jesus described in the parable.

Grazers & Browsers

Goats have a well-deserved reputation for eating anything in sight. Sometimes they chew it up and spew it out. There’s a classic episode of The Andy Griffith Show where Barney and Andy hilariously deal with a goat that had eaten a crate of dynamite. The last thing they needed was a goat with a belly full of dynamite, headbutting something and going kaboom in the middle of Mayberry. And while that may be ridiculous, it is believable because goats are browsers. They don’t feed on grass or low-growth vegetation like sheep. So, the green pastures mentioned in Psalm 23 aren’t all that exciting to goats. And that is a crucial difference between sheep and goats. Sheep are grazers. They are content with green grass and will follow shepherds who lead them beside “still waters.”

Goats don’t want a shepherd. They’re never full. They leave churches because they “aren’t being fed.” That’s rarely the case. They have an appetite for thorns and thistles. They like faux shepherds who promise something better, something more exciting, more relevant, than godly pastures and still waters. When that gets boring, or they realize how unsatisfying that diet is, they move on to another place. While that’s fine for actual goats, people with a goat nature Jesus described reject living water and the bread of life (yes, I know I’m mixing metaphors). This is partially because goats are discontented by nature. Sheep have learned, as the apostle Paul said:

…I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things, I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need (Philippians 4:11-12).

Interdependent & Independent

I get that being compared to sheep carries a stigma. We’ve all heard derogatory comments about “sheeple,” “herd mentalities,” and “lemmings.” In America, at least for most of its history, personal independence is sought after and celebrated. And Jesus certainly wasn’t suggesting that we’re all alike or that Christ’s followers are supposed to be robots, mindlessly going with the flow. On the contrary, the Gospel is intensely personal and intimate. Everyone must have a close relationship with the Great Shepherd, so much so that they recognize His voice (John 10:27). If anything, remaining with God’s flock in His pasture takes great individual intentionality, sincere thought, and an extraordinary understanding of the greater good. By the “greater good,” I mean that sheep willingly trade their independence for interdependence. Because, let’s face it, complete independence is a total fabrication. Everyone needs someone or something, and sheep have realized they want and need the Great Shepherd.

But here’s the thing, if you want the Great Shepherd, you must accept that you are also getting His undershepherds and His flock. So, gaining the Great Shepherd gives you exclusive access to His pastures but also excludes you from wandering back to old fields. There will be fences, parameters, and requirements. You may not always understand or even like them, but you trust the Great Shepherd sees dangers you cannot see. Sure, the flock might slow you down or cramp your style, and it might be tempting to wander off and do your own thing for a while. You might misconstrue Christian liberty as freedom from the responsibilities of the flock. The apostle Paul addressed this carnal propensity in his letter to the church in Galatia: For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another (Galatians 5:13, ESV). The apostle Peter described our obligation to the flock this way: Have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind (1 Peter 3:8, ESV).

Goats are all about “my” and “me.” Sheep are focused on community, the “us” and “we.” Goats are constantly looking for advancement for themselves, while sheep look to enhance everyone. That’s why Jesus emphasized things like, “The last shall be first, and the first last (Matthew 20:16).” It’s counterintuitive, but putting others first is the best thing you can do for yourself. Let me show you something people miss who think they can accept Jesus while rejecting His undershepherds and flock. During Jesus’ most famous teaching, the Sermon on the Mount, He gave an example of how everyone should pray:

Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil… (Matthew 6:9-13).

Did you catch it? Jesus didn’t say to pray, “My Father which art in heaven.” Instead, he said, “Our Father.” And don’t pray, “Give me this day.” Rather pray, “Give us this day.” Read the full prayer. Not once does Jesus use singular pronouns except when addressing the Father. Why? Because even in prayer, we must remember that we are part of a community more significant than ourselves. You can’t accept the Shepherd and reject your role in His flock. Sheep know this to be true.

Faithful & Playful

Even the flakiest, most undependable Christians take great comfort in knowing God is always faithful. I’m the first to raise my hand and say that what I probably love most about the Lord is that He will never leave or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:8). In other words, God is never going to flake out on me. Yet, people who claim to be like Christ are often more playful than faithful.

It’s true that goats are more playful than sheep. This is because goats are more adventurous by nature. However, that doesn’t mean sheep aren’t playful. They are. They just don’t prioritize playfulness over faithfulness. Sheep know the ultimate goal is to hear the Great Shepherd say, “Well done my good and faithful servant (Matthew 25:23). Faithfulness always sounds boring until you need someone to be faithful to you. Likewise, loyalty seems mundane until you need loyalty.

Goats are not dependable. They’re terrible with follow-through. And they lack loyalty when the chips are down. But, oh, yes, they can be a lot of fun. Sometimes they’re a downright joy to have hanging around the sheep. But that playfulness quickly becomes annoying and occasionally destructive when faithfulness is required. Sheep, like having a good time. They need it and crave it. But they know when to take things seriously. They know how to listen for changes in their Shepherd’s tone. They’ve learned that fun at all costs isn’t worth the price.

Amiable & Onery

But, even with all that fun-loving independence, an orneriness lurks beneath the surface of a goat’s facade. The term “stubborn as a goat” exists for a good reason. Goats are indeed stubborn and hardheaded (literally). Goats are notoriously onery and rebellious. It’s their nature. Of course, some are more so than others. My grandfather would have called them cantankerous. Human goats are like that too. This puts them at odds with sheep, in opposition to undershepherds, and in trouble with the Great Shepherd.

While sheep are far from perfect, they have an amiable nature. They’ve learned to “strive for peace with everyone (Hebrews 12:14).” If it’s possible, and if they can do anything about it, they try to have peaceful relationships with everyone they encounter (Romans 12:18). This isn’t always easy. Still, it’s the will of the Great Shepherd, so they obey. After all, sheep don’t have to fight their own battles. Their Shepherd fights for them.

Shoats & Geeps

My daughter, our in-house animal expert, informed me that there are sheep-goat hybrids, usually referred to as “shoats” or “geeps.” I kid you not. The Bible never mentions these curious creatures. However, it does describe how every person has a war between two competing natures raging on the inside. You might say we’re all born with a goat nature, and the Holy Ghost gives us a new character. But even after receiving the Holy Ghost, we’re still a sheep-goat hybrid. That old goat nature desperately wants to take back control.

The apostle Paul lamented that the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the wishes of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other (Galatians 5:17). The apostle Peter called this inward struggle a war saying, “the passions of the flesh wage war against your soul (1 Peter 2:11).” Paul homed in on geeps that had transformed back into goats when he said: For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot (Romans 8:7, ESV). The transformation from sheep to goat and vice versa is always a possibility. Therefore, sheep must always be on guard, and goats have no choice but to repent or be lost.

In Jesus’ Name – A Poem

I’ll always be a poser. 
A loser at heart. 
The inside is broken. 
The outside’s a frame. 
I do it all in Jesus’ name. 

Fame brings no fortune. 
And fortune, no fame. 
The elements twisting. 
Aligning the game. 
Run for the hills in Jesus’ name. 

I’ve always been homeless. 
A wandering soul. 
Jealous of nothing. 
Yet wanting it all. 
Find contentment in Jesus’ name. 

Peace brings no freedom. 
And freedom, no sleep.
The contention still lives.
It always remains.
Til’ the trump sounds in Jesus’ name.

Can you value the future?
Surrender the past? 
Love what’s leftover?
Relinquish the masks?
Just lay them down in Jesus’ name.

Sturdy Stuff – A Poem

Faith is made of sturdy stuff
It doesn’t bend or break or rust
It dares walk on wind and waves
It shan’t forget to watch His face

Fear is made of evil stuff
It doesn’t love or laugh or trust
Never moving past the grave
Hiding joy beneath the dust

Hope is made of hearty stuff
It doesn’t run or stop or quit
Much too strong to just give up
Keeping flames of faith alit

Hate is made of filthy stuff
It doesn’t heal or help the hurt
Over time it just gets worse
Making pain grow in reverse

Love is made of potent stuff
Ever-changing hardened hearts
It’s tenacious, always tough
Holding on because it must

Lust is made of feeble stuff
Formed in muck of wicked minds
Etched on hands drenched in blood
Heartless, sinful, ugly, gruff

Joy is made of ardent stuff
It changes not with passing whims
Nor falls apart when skies grow dim
Always faithful, full of love

Should Christians & Pastors Be Involved in Politics with Superintendent David Tipton – Article + Podcast

Mississippi District United Pentecostal Church Superintendent David Tipton is passionate about Christians being involved in politics. So much so he’s written a great book called Faith, Freedom & Politics. It was an honor having him on the Apostolic Voice podcast (I’ve linked that episode below). You’ll enjoy that conversation. The topic is important enough to merit being condensed here. So, I’ve abbreviated the highlights of my conversation with Rev. Tipton for those who prefer to read.

In Christ, At Colosse

To the saints and faithful brethren in Christ which are at Colosse: Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ (Colossians 1:2).

Tipton makes the case that, like the church at Colosse, saints are to be in Christ and involved in their region. That involvement should naturally include politics. My father used to say, “don’t complain about politics if you don’t vote.” That impacted me as a young man because our human nature does tend to complain about things we won’t work to fix. Biblically we have good precedents for involvement: Daniel was involved with the King at the highest level of political advisory, Joseph was elevated to the second most powerful political position in Egypt, and Nehemiah governed Judah while maintaining a positive influence with the king of Babylon who held them captive. Paul instructed us to “pray for those in government positions (1 Timothy 2:1-2).” And Jesus urged us to be good citizens and pay our taxes (Matthew 22:17-21). But of course, we have a higher citizenship in Heaven (Philippians 3:20), but that doesn’t excuse us from doing the right thing here on earth.

My Political Affiliation

I happily echo what Superintendent Tipton said in our interview, “my loyalties lie with Jesus Christ.” There will likely never be a politician who perfectly represents my biblical worldview. So, I strive to find the closest agreement possible. Like it or not, Christians are usually forced to vote for the lesser of two evils. Red or blue, elephant or donkey, I vote for candidates who are most likely to govern closest to my values. Therefore, my vote is not a full stamp of approval for their every action before or after they are elected. However, Tipton makes a valid point that shouldn’t be overlooked, “building a personal relationship with elected officials will help them remain more sympathetic to your values.”

All Politics Is Local

I’ve noticed that Christians will often become very animated about national politics. Yet, those same people are indifferent to their local elections and legislation. I’ll raise my hand and admit I’ve been that person. It’s easy to get swept into the electrifying current of national politics while simultaneously being lulled to sleep by local policymaking. However, Tipton reminded me that the average person is far more impacted by local policies than by federal ones. For example, COVID revealed much about how important it is for churches to have a good relationship with their mayor, sheriff, and county officials. As Tipton pointed out, “a local sheriff has tremendous power to help or harm.” It stands to reason that we should be active on the local level. If you’re like me, you might wonder, how can I cultivate relationships with local officials? Fortunately, Rev. Tipton gives some great advice on how to do just that.

Be A Friend

I’m abbreviating Rev. Tipton’s advice considerably, but this will give you a good overview of developing relationships with your local officials. First, if possible, begin relationships while officials are running for office. Tipton says, “If you only initiate contact after they are elected, you seem like an opportunist.” Look for local luncheons, speeches, prayer breakfasts, book signings, or gatherings where you can introduce yourself to candidates while they are seeking office. Be real. Be genuine. Be kind. Once a local politician has won office, make contact in person by visiting their office. Congratulate them and express your desire to help them wherever possible. Even if you don’t see eye to eye on most issues, try to find some common ground. Treat them like human beings in a frenzied media culture that dehumanizes politicians, and they will be grateful. Politicians are humans like you and me. As Tipton says, “they like to win and hate to lose. They don’t want to be embarrassed or mistreated.”

Once you’ve made that initial contact in person. Write them a letter expressing some kindness and a measure of support. Let them know you are praying for them and that you represent others who are doing the same. If you notice or hear about a situation a local official is dealing with, send them a note expressing concern. Remind them you are available if they need a safe person to talk with. In short, be a friend. It’s vital that you establish this relationship before asking for help, demanding change, or complaining about this or that. You are more likely to get results from someone who sees you as a friend than if they view you as an annoying stranger. Finally, be a person of integrity in that relationship. Please don’t use them for selfies or talk about your conversations with them to others. They need to know you are trustworthy and reliable. They need to know that they are talking only to you when they speak to you.

Issues of Great Concern

You may not care about or enjoy the American political process. And that’s ok. I get it. But you probably care deeply about the issues facing your family, church, and community. Those issues can only be resolved through the mechanism of politics. For example, the Mississippi District UPCI, under the direction of Rev. Tipton, played a crucial role in the legislation that overturned Roe vs. Wade and changed abortion laws for the better (you’ll want to listen to that testimony here). Religious liberty and freedom of speech are genuinely being threatened. Will we complain about it, or will we do something about it? I can tell you from personal experience that family law needs an overhaul, and public education needs total renovation. Mental health is tragically overlooked and underfunded in our communities. Crime and lawlessness are back on the rise in many sectors. Whether we realize it or not, business ethics and economics impact us all.

Christians care about these things. We detest racism. We’re not just against abortion. We’re for adoption (another area that needs deep reform). These issues and countless more should compel us to get involved as best we can, especially locally. Superintendent Tipton puts it this way:

If the church would be the redeeming force in the world, it must come to the realization that God’s love is for all men. A direct result of this is a deep-seated commitment to action in helping people, even if that means helping politically. It is vital for the church to move into the political process.

National Apostolic Christian Leadership Conference (NACLC)

Rev. Tipton is a founding leader and staunch advocate of the National Apostolic Christian Leadership Conference (NACLC). Their website is www.naclc.org. Individuals, churches, and districts can become members for $10.00 per month or $100.00 annually. Membership gives access to regular correspondence, initiatives, and materials relevant to Christian legislation and issues. Additionally, churches, districts, and ministries receive free membership in the Alliance Defending Freedom. The ADF team of nearly 100 attorneys can review documents, advise on related legal matters, and represent you if the case warrants. They focus primarily on protecting religious liberties from encroachment. The stated goal of NACLC is as follows, “to build a unified force of Apostolic Pentecostal organizations and believers that will influence local, state, and national policy.”

The Asbury Revival: A Word of Caution (Support Your Local Revival) with Timothy Hadden – Article + Podcast

I have to admit that the Asbury Revival hasn’t been majorly on my radar. I’m not super active on social media these days. By the way, cutting back on social media has been incredibly freeing for me. I have more clarity, fewer distractions, and more hope for humanity when not witnessing the daily media grime. Anyway, I’d seen a few clips here and there, but I didn’t start thinking seriously about Asbury until individuals began asking for my opinion. In that situation, I did what I often do: read what my friend Timothy Hadden had to say about it. In this case, he’s written two articles, Asbury Revival: A Cautionary Stance for the Church and Asbury Revival: A Follow-Up and Other Insights.

Apostolic Voice Episode 68

I was so impacted by those articles that I knew Tim needed to come and talk about it on the Apostolic Voice podcast (I’ve linked that episode below). We had a truly unscripted, from-the-heart, vulnerable discussion about a few concerns we share regarding some Apostolic verbiage surrounding the Asbury revival. I hope you enjoy it. If you’re enjoying Apostolic Voice, please leave us a five-star review on iTunes and give us a little encouragement. It means a lot. God bless.

Links Mentioned in Episode 68

    6 Dating Standards for Apostolic Singles – Article + Podcast

    Singles seem to fall through the cracks in our churches. That’s an observation, not a criticism. It’s one of those hard-to-avoid problems that just naturally occurs. If you’re single and reading this, you’re shaking your head in agreement right now. It’s not that churches don’t care about singles – they do – but being single isn’t a characteristic that necessarily unites people into well-structured little groups. For example, you can be 18 or 88 and be single; 18-year-old singles have a completely different set of needs than, say… a middle-aged single adult.

    All the good and bad excuses aside, churches need to talk more about how Apostolic singles should approach dating and relationships. I see singles struggling to navigate dating and serving God faithfully at the same time from all age groups. With that in mind, these six dating standards are directed toward every age group. Some of these standards are solid biblical truths, while others are personal opinions based on years of counseling and observation.

    Let me start with a few statements of fact: Being single does not mean that you are less valuable than married people, and it’s far better to be single than married to the wrong person. It’s a natural God-given desire to long for a spouse. You should pursue that desire on God’s terms, which leads me to point number one.

    Being single does not mean that you are less valuable than married people, and it’s far better to be single than married to the wrong person.

    1. Apostolic singles should never consider dating anyone (and I mean anyone) who is not Apostolic.

    There is nothing more important to any relationship than walking in spiritual unity. How can you have anything truly in common with someone who isn’t in full agreement with the most defining aspect of your life (Amos 3:3, 2 Corinthians 6:14-17, 1 Corinthians 15:33, 2 Timothy 3:5)? Spiritual and doctrinal disagreements impact every part of married life. I’ve heard all the arguments and excuses for why “this” person is the one good exception to that rule, and the story almost always ends in heartache or backsliding. I’ve observed countless situations where someone pretended to be serious about God to be in a relationship with an Apostolic guy or girl. In those situations, the entire relationship is built on a lie—hardly a good start to any long-lasting marriage. Dating someone into the Church is a bad idea – the happily ever after success stories are scarce. Beyond that, it’s a question of the heart. Why would you be attracted to someone who isn’t Holy Ghost filled, holy, and zealous about their faith?

    Apostolic singles should never consider dating anyone (and I mean anyone) who is not Apostolic. There is nothing more important to any relationship than walking in spiritual unity.

    Dating someone into the Church is a bad idea – the happily ever after success stories are scarce. It’s a question of the heart. Why would you be attracted to someone who isn’t Holy Ghost filled, holy, and zealous about their faith?

    2. Mr. Right will attract Mrs. Right and vice versa.

    Most singles have a mental (and maybe even an actual) checklist of what they want the “right” one to be like. There’s nothing wrong with that necessarily (depending on what’s on the list). However, you should spend more time making sure you’re everything that you should be. You won’t attract the right kind of person if you aren’t working to be the right kind of person. Singlehood is a tremendous opportunity for self-improvement, preparation, spiritual growth, and maturation.

    You won’t attract the right kind of person if you aren’t working to be the right kind of person. Singlehood is a tremendous opportunity for self-improvement, preparation, spiritual growth, and maturation.

    3. Apostolic singles must trust that God is guiding their footsteps (Romans 8:28, Proverbs 3:5-6, Proverbs 16:9, Psalm 37:23).

    Fate is not a biblical concept. God orders our every step if we are faithful to Him. That’s something every Apostolic single should believe wholeheartedly. God will guide the right person into your life at just the right time. You might look around your church on any given Sunday and think, “If these are my only options, I’m gonna die alone.” But remember, we walk by faith, not sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). If you trust God and guard your integrity, God will orchestrate your future in ways that you can’t possibly plan.

    Fate is not a biblical concept. God orders our every step if we are faithful to Him. That’s something every Apostolic single should believe wholeheartedly. God will guide the right person into your life at just the right time.

    4. Speaking of guarding integrity, Apostolic singles should create and maintain protective boundaries in their relationships.

    I’m confident the average Apostolic single doesn’t enter a relationship planning to be promiscuous, indecent, or sexually immoral. Nevertheless, if you don’t have defensive boundaries in place, lines can be crossed very quickly. Carelessness leads to sinfulness in a hurry.

    So, let’s talk about dating and relationship boundaries for a minute. Under no circumstances should a man and woman be alone together in a house or bedroom unless they are married to one another. There’s too much opportunity for things to go too far in that setting, and even if nothing happens, it looks wildly inappropriate.

    A couple should not be alone together in a house or bedroom unless they are married to one another. There’s too much opportunity for things to go too far in that setting, and even if nothing happens, it looks wildly inappropriate.

    • Dating couples need to spend time with groups of people. It would help if you saw how that person interacts with others and the people who are already a part of your life.
    • Dating couples should always have a plan. Don’t just get together and kill time. Boredom and too much free time are a dangerous combo for two people attracted to one another.
    • Singles of all ages must be open and accountable to spiritual authority. Singles should talk to their pastor, family, and trustworthy spiritual mentors BEFORE becoming too emotionally invested in a relationship. Singles who remove this boundary are dodging godly counsel.
    • When dating, singles should ask lots and lots of questions. Don’t take it for granted that you know what someone believes just because they warm a church pew. There’s always a Judas hanging around Jesus. Talk. Find out what they really think deep down. Talk about hopes, dreams, plans, goals, and aspirations. Find out if they are growing spiritually or dying spiritually.
    • When dating, watch how they respond in church services. If they sit in church like a dead frog, you know something is spiritually off balance. If they’re uninvolved and out of touch with their local assembly… run.
    • Stay modest, even when you’re not together. Texting, social media, video chatting, and tons of other technological advancements have changed the modern dating scene. If it would be immodest for you to show it or wear it in person, you shouldn’t be showing it or wearing it digitally.

    5. Don’t date someone who isn’t marriage material.

    Never date just to date. I’ve received a lot of pushback on this piece of advice over the years. I stand by it anyway; dating isn’t a game or a way to kill time. Dating shouldn’t be a temporary fix for loneliness. Dating is two people evaluating whether they are compatible and capable of truly loving one another for a lifetime. And by the way, spending all your free time with a member of the opposite sex is dating, whether you call it that or not. If marriage is out of the question, stop dating that person immediately.

    6. Know your worth.

    You are incredibly valuable. Don’t let anyone or anything convince you otherwise. In a culture of casual sex and careless relationships, Apostolic singles are set apart by God for better things.

    Finally, marriage is by far the most life-impacting decision a person will ever make. Be prayerful, be accountable, be faithful, be prepared, and seek wisdom. Know that God cares about your happiness. God is in complete control of your future. Let the Lord lead you.

    You are incredibly valuable. Don’t let anyone or anything convince you otherwise. In a culture of casual sex and careless relationships, Apostolic singles are set apart by God for better things.

    Marriage is the most life-impacting decision you will ever make. Be prayerful, be accountable, be faithful, be prepared, seek wisdom. God cares about your happiness. God is in complete control of your future. Let the Lord lead you.