Connection vs. Carnality – In Student Ministry

It would be prudent, to begin with, this statement of belief: I believe in solid connection with students while being connected to each student in a unique and individually specific way. I believe and am an advocate for personal, one on one connection. Yet, I think we (student pastors, youth pastors, youth workers) are in danger of blurring the lines of connection and crossing into carnality. Let’s talk about it.

The Field and the Pressure

If we look at student ministry, we will find one of the most significant evangelism fields in the world. In the United States alone, there are 74 million people under the age of 18, which accounts for nearly 25% of the population. It’s not a stretch to say students make up a substantial part and are the driving force of our culture. As adults, we look to teenagers to see what is new, trendy, or popular. While pre-teens look to the 15 to 18-year-old group to see what aspirations they should be entertaining. This reality places a powerful burden of influence in the hands of teenagers.

I have no problem with the fact teenagers can help define and shape culture. In fact, as youth pastors, we should capitalize on this fact and use it to our advantage. If we gather teens and connect with them, if we can help them connect with a spiritual walk with God, then we will, in turn, affect both younger and older generations. However, there is a disturbing trend of blurred lines on how to connect with the current generation. In prayer recently, the Lord put this thought in my mind: “The danger of student ministry is justifying carnality and calling it connection.”

If we gather teens and connect with them, if we can help them connect with a spiritual walk with God, then we will, in turn, affect both younger and older generations.

The danger of student ministry is justifying carnality and calling it connection.

The Danger of Social Media Mirroring

One of the dangers of blurring the line between connection and carnality is social media mirroring. Allow me to explain. I served as an assistant and full-time youth pastor for eight years. During this incredible season of life, my wife, Jessica, and I were privileged to be youth pastor to some of the most amazing students. As we transitioned to Youth Pastor, we felt excitement but also horror in our position. We were committed to reaching our students but also totally “out of touch” with our role as their youth pastor. Our predecessor, Rev. Chadwick Craft, was a phenomenal leader and spiritual guide. We knew we couldn’t fill his shoes, nor were we supposed to fill them. We would need to walk “OUR” path with our giftings and abilities. So, despite Paul warning us about comparison (2 Corinthians 10:1-11), I looked at other student ministry social media accounts and felt instantly demoralized.

I discovered incredible graphics, mind-blowing stage designs, relevant lesson plans, and youth pastors who looked incredibly; yes, I’m old enough to use the word “cool”. My goal was to immediately mirror these ministries by being in schools at lunchtime and being at their events and recitals. I wanted to post pictures of myself with students to prove my connection, my impact on their lives. It was a rush to mirror the “social media success” stories posted daily.

Obviously, there is nothing wrong with wanting connection, but here is where the danger came into play. In the rush to mirror student ministry, we became very uncomfortable with the “connection” moments we were seeing and felt pressured to perform. Lunch was a great time to connect with new students, so this continued for us. However, other events began to weigh heavily on us spiritually. As pressure to post and “connect” increased, we joined in, trying to conform to other groups’ pressure, even though they were in other cities with different church cultures. In doing so, we realized our purpose, worship, and witness would quickly become compromised and carnal if we followed these trends.

The Crossroads of Connection and Carnality

The purpose of spending time with a student to witness was quickly becoming time spent at school functions with no spiritual depth. Connection meant being pressured to attend ballgames, chaperone dances, and have student movie nights in place of youth services. The pressure was unreal. I was told, “This is how you do student ministry,” “This is the way to connect with students,” “Meet them where they are… be in the environment they are in, encourage them in the endeavors of school athletics and programs.” “Dress casual.” “Don’t yell so much” (this was in reference to preaching). That pressure to be like other student pastors left me feeling drained spiritually. It felt wrong. It felt carnal.

Daily I was doing my best to have the right haircut, to wear trendy clothes, listen to the right music, and play the right games on my phone. Yet what was happening was wholesale accepting a culture of carnality. My pressured changes were disingenuous and created a false narrative of who I was and what an apostolic youth group should become. It was time to take a step back and review where we were as a group, where we were spiritually, and where God wanted us to go. We began to search diligently for authentic connection, and in doing so, realized several truths:

  • Students do not care about trendy clothes, as long as someone cares about them.
  • Students do not care if I play the games they play, as long as I spend time with them.
  • Students didn’t care if I was at a sporting event if we were there to weep with them while in an altar.
  • The only person who cared if I was “cool” was other youth workers.
  • Carnal connection was not what God intended; Spiritual connection is what was going to be the difference-maker in their lives.

Students do not care about trendy clothes, as long as someone cares about them.

Students do not care if you play the games they play, as long as you spend time with them.

Students don’t care if you are at a sporting event if you are there to weep with them in an altar.

Genuine connection comes from sitting down and connecting over shared interests. If the interest is carnal, then the connection by proxy will also be carnal. How, then, could real connection happen in carnal environments?

The Case for Genuinly Apostolic Connection

Please receive this in the spirit in which it’s written. We need apostolic student pastors to be apostolic. The wholesale acceptance of involvement in sports, proms, accepting worldly artists who are suddenly “Christian” is not only dangerous but flies in the face of the Scriptures command: Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you (2 Corinthians 6:17).

Do you see the danger? It starts so simply, “I am trying to connect with them. I am trying to connect them to Jesus. If I host a movie night, we have common ground. If we listen to traditionally ungodly artists who suddenly find salvation, we show them how to accept new converts. We must dress casually so they will be comfortable. We must like their posts, so they know we approve.”

While all of these arguments seem valid, each of them draws a very fine line between connection and simply being carnal. We should connect with students. We should lead them to Jesus. We should teach them to accept new converts. But, to do these things without maintaining a clear apostolic voice is simply justifying carnal behavior under the guise of connection. 

It is time. We must shift our focus and become more focused on SPIRITUAL connection, not carnal connection. Should we be present when we can? Should we have P7 clubs and CMI chapters? Should we visit students at school during lunches or breaks? Absolutely, YES! Should we be at their ballgames, dances, and carnal events? Decidedly, the answer would be no. Because in doing so, we are giving permission for their involvement in these carnal events. Our presence equals permission in the minds of teens.

We must shift our focus and become more focused on SPIRITUAL connection, not carnal connection.

Student ministers are pressured on so many fronts: Host movie nights, institute casual approaches to dress codes in service, accept secular artists’ new Christian albums, like posts on Facebook of students going to prom while dressed ungodly and involved in unacceptable activities. Liking carnal posts (pics of ungodly dress or worldly music in an IG story) is like giving a high five to a drowning person. It says I see you drowning, but I don’t love you enough to make you uncomfortable by pulling you out.

Liking carnal posts (pics of ungodly dress or worldly music in an IG story) is like giving a high five to a drowning person. It says I see you drowning, but I don’t love you enough to make you uncomfortable by pulling you out.

Youth group movie night should never happen in an apostolic youth group. It is shocking to see movie nights’ acceptance as not just a fringe idea but being accepted and lauded by many student pastors. In an effort to connect with students by watching movies, we are teaching them to look towards the world for their spiritual lessons and morality. This thinking is a significant error because the Bible is the only guidebook we should use to find our moral compass.

Connecting with students by watching movies, teaches them to look towards the world for their spiritual lessons and morality. This is a significant error because the Bible is the only guidebook we should use to find our moral compass.

Snoop and Kanye suddenly becoming “Christian” does not mean we should immediately play their music in youth service. I’m thankful they are moving in the right direction; their private lives reflect their true nature. Smoking weed, calling themselves yeezus, and the other filthy and frankly barbaric lifestyles they entertain should be reason enough to keep them blacklisted from Apostolic environments.

Apostolic Precedence Over Pressure

Paul connected not by taking new converts to the coliseum or the Olympic games, but by prayer, fasting, and house to house studying the Word of God together. He got them involved in the field! As student pastors, we only get 45-50 hours of connection with them each year in youth service. If you are lucky and have a small group on Sundays, then maybe another 45-50 hours. Above all else, our connections must be viewed as the single most important hour of their lives. That connection must be apostolic.

Paul connected not by taking new converts to the coliseum or the Olympic games, but by prayer, fasting, and house to house studying the Word of God together.

So, what does true apostolic connection look like? It starts with daily prayer and study personally. Daily prayer and Bible study sets the mind and spirit on a path of biblical connection personally and focuses your vision through a spiritual lens. As a gentle reminder, you get what you preach, but who you are is what you produce. This personal devotion aligns you with God as you move through the day. Once you have prayed through, next, you must be honest. Honest with yourself. Is there anything slipping in which promotes carnality and not Christ? If so, be honest with yourself… and change it.

Daily prayer and Bible study sets the mind and spirit on a path of biblical connection personally and focuses your vision through a spiritual lens.

As a gentle reminder, you get what you preach, but who you are is what you produce.

Our Experience and Positive Change

We cut out all of the fluff. We stopped trying to be the “textbook” student pastor. Instead, we began to focus on prayer. Our group was running 79 students when we decided to do an event we called The Hunger Event. It was a simple call to fasting and prayer. We would fast together as a group from Friday at 7 am until Saturday at 7 am. We would meet at the church and pray from 7 pm until 7 am and break our fast together.

We announced this: If you want to play basketball, that will happen next week. If you want to play video games, please don’t be offended, but we won’t be playing games. If you aren’t serious about growth, no worries, we love you… but this event isn’t for you.

The night of the event, we had a sign-in sheet. Ninety-three students signed in by 7 pm. (remember, we were averaging 79 in service). I cannot adequately describe the move of God we experienced. From this meeting, we began a very intentional plan to connect. We promoted prayer as the premier event on our calendar. It was our way of common connection. We preached about prayer. We preached about being apostolic. We promoted prayer and apostolic lifestyle as we would a giveaway. It became the fundamental pressure applied by our team.

We would meet one on one with students and be honest with them about music, lifestyle changes needed but also the importance of being a disciple. We didn’t run an errand alone. If we had to go out of our way to pick up a student to pick up dry cleaning, we did. We became rabid in our connection. We were staying in their texts, calling them, showing up at school or work. Always, every meeting was an encouragement for them to stay connected to God and us.  

It was during this season we began to tell them how God wanted to use them. We shifted all connection, all narrative, to being a worshipper and a witness. Every action had to fit those criteria in some way. It was tough. It was different. But in eight months, we grew from 79 in youth service to 135. We taught a dozen bible studies a month because our connection was based on their spiritual growth. True connection focuses on their spiritual growth and accepting the responsibility to be the Apostolic Voice in their lives.

True student ministry connection focuses on their spiritual growth and accepting the responsibility to be the Apostolic Voice in their lives.

Final Word and Witness

Titus 1:16 is, frankly, very heavy. But it’s a Scripture that stands out. It defines or should define our interactions and connection. It warns about blurring the line between carnality and connection. Paul says (and I’m paraphrasing), they say its connection in relationship, but actually what they are doing is in opposition to His nature; it is unthinkable and unlawful. It makes their work worthless.

They profess that they know God; but in works they deny him, being abominable, and disobedient, and unto every good work reprobate.

Titus 1:16

It is in us to fall into the trap of carnal connections. It is an easy snare to fall into, yet it is my desire for someone to read this and realize our connection to students can be deeper and more impactful. I beg you, evaluate how you connect. Filter it through the fact; you have a biblical mandate to be unapologetically apostolic. If you connect them to the Spirit first, God will honor this and bring multiplication to the ministry you serve.

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Darrell Bates is married to his incredible and sweet wife, Jessica. They have been married twelve years. Currently, they serve as Youth President of the UPCI Mississippi District and evangelize full-time. They served in Youth Ministry for nearly fifteen years at First Pentecostal Church in Jackson, MS, and eight years in the MS District Youth department. They both love coffee, reading, and being with students. You can connect with them on Facebook here.

Graphic Design Tips – For Churches On A Budget

I’m not a professional designer by any stretch of the imagination. Calling myself an amateur designer is probably an overly generous designation. This article is by an amateur for amateurs.

So why would an amateur write about anything: Because most churches simply can’t afford to hire out every little design project needed. Churches are fueled by passionate well-meaning amateurs who do their very best on a shoestring budget.

Not every church is blessed with a member well versed in graphic design. Meaning, someone is forced to wade into the murky confusing waters of amateur graphic design. If that person is you (or you know someone who fits that description), stick around (or pass this along) because listed below are several free resources that will make your (or their) life a lot easier. And as a bonus, the finished projects will be substantially more astatically pleasing than copy and paste clip art collections.

One caveat, amateur designers need to know their limitations. Many projects require more expensive computer software and/or skills then we possess. For those situations, you should bite the bullet and pay someone who really knows what they’re doing. For example, it’s probably best to have a professional design your church logo.

If your church isn’t connected to a good designer I highly recommend Joy Mills at Savvy Design Solutions. SDS is Apostolic owned and operated. The prices are reasonable, the work is completed promptly, and the finished product always exceeds expectations.

Social media has made the need for basic graphic design skills more necessary than ever. As I’ve written in the past, churches should do their best to have a presentable online presence. However, the general rule of thumb is that it’s better to have no online presence than a tacky online presence. Also, bulletins, flyers (digital and printed), sermon slides, announcements, and much more are often made much nicer with a few minor tips. And most of those things work best by starting with a high-resolution image for the background (if you don’t know what resolution means familiarize yourself with it here).

Image Resources 

You may have noticed that stock images aren’t cheap and media resource memberships are pricey too. Listed below are five websites that provide free high-resolution stock images.

  1. www.creationswap.com

Creationswap.com used to be 100% free. Recently they added a subscription package that unlocks every resource. However, they still have free images, videos, and motion graphics available for download.

  1. www.pixabay.com

Pixaabay.com is probably the most popular of all the free stock image sites. It’s now integrated into many of the popular design apps listed below.

  1. www.unsplash.com

Fewer people seem familiar with Unsplash.com. Probably because its collection is smaller than Pixabay.com. But they provide a beautiful and unique selection of free images.

  1. www.freerangestock.com

Freerangestick.com is one of the most practical free image sites out there. It’s less artsy than the others, which is nice for bulletin and announcement projects.

  1. www.stockvault.net

Stockvault.net is my least favorite of the five listed here. But it has been useful on occasions so it made the list.

Font Resources

Regardless of the computer program, you’ll add more oomph to your project by having great font options. The standard fonts pre-loaded in most software programs are pretty boring. Choosing the right font can make even a simple black and white flyer pop. Thankfully, the internet has made downloading free font varieties super easy. It’s a little overwhelming at first because there are so many neat fonts to choose from. But take heart, once you download a new font it will show up in your programs font window automatically. Over time, you’ll have tons of neat choices right at your fingertips. Below are three great free font resources that every designer should have bookmarked for quick reference. Oh, and they add new fonts regularly so check back from time to time.

  1. www.dafont.com
  2. www.urbanfonts.com
  3. www.fontspace.com

Video, Graphics & Slideshow Resources

These next two websites are also available as apps on your tablet or smartphone.

  1. www.canva.com

Canva.com is completely free but priceless for the inexperienced designer. Basically, Canva.com provides free design templates for a wide range of projects. There are free customizable design templates for social media posts (literally all social media outlets), business cards, flyers, postcards, invitations, letterhead, programs, bulletins, and email headers. Or, if you know the necessary dimensions of your design there is a custom dimension option available too.

Unlike other competing free design sites, Canva.com allows you to upload your own graphics (like a church logo) and pictures to use within your project. It’s very user-friendly and they help take a lot of the guesswork out of the equation for amateurs like me. Also, they save all your projects and uploads for future reference.

One negative about this resource; there is a free Canva app available for download (Apple and Android), but you lose a lot of features in the app. The website itself is much better than the app.

  1. www.adobespark.com

Adobe Spark is a terrific resource for churches. The website is great but the app is even better (especially on a tablet). Among other great features, Adobe Spark allows you to create cool videos very quickly. It has integrated templates, fonts, and instrumental music. You can use it to create announcements, slideshows, tutorials, or even teach an illustrated lesson. It’s easy and fun to use. Plus, it stores all your past projects for you in their server saving you lots of space on your computer or devices.

App Resources for Phones & Tablets

For quick projects like social media announcements, sermon slides, or blog titles apps are time savers. But sorting through all the apps can really get annoying. In my humble opinion, below are the top ten must-have apps for anyone involved in church media design.

  1. Typorama is the absolute best text on photo editor, typography maker for the iPhone and iPad (sorry Android people it’s only available for Apple users). It is by far the easiest to use without sacrificing features. One of my favorite things about this app is the integrated ability to add tasteful overlays (like bursts of color or light leaks) to any image. Often, I will edit an image in Typorama, save it to my photos, and cycle the newly saved image back through Typorama a second (and sometimes a third time) adding new touches each time.
  2. WordSwag is very similar to Typorama only with fewer features. Even still, WordSwag is a must have app.
  3. Word Dream another app in the typography, photo editor family. I find it’s font choices a little too outrageous most of the time. Word Dream does have a superior filter selection than the others. Sometimes I will create a graphic in Typorama, save it to photos, and add a filter in the Word Dream app.
  4. Tangent advertises itself as an app that helps you easily turn your photos or graphics into one-of-a-kind works of art. But it’s also great for quickly adding a custom look to sermon slides, announcements, or social media posts right from your phone or tablet.
  5. Back Eraser allows you to literally erase the background right off any given picture. By erasing the background off, for example, a guest minister you can layer the image over another image and give a more professional look. There are several apps designed to erase unwanted backgrounds off of images. This one is the most user-friendly I’ve found so far. Warning, you’ll want a stylus for best results when using this app. Also, remember to save the image as “transparent” or your finished product will have a white background.
  6. Photoshop Mix is a powerful free app from the famed Adobe ecosystem. It can do many things but I use it primarily for layering images. For example, I’ll often use the Back Eraser app to remove unwanted background from a person and use Photoshop Mix to merge that image with a new announcement image created in Typorama.
  7. Pixlr is deservedly the most popular photo editing app across all device platforms. But it can be used for more than just editing selfies. If you create an announcement in Typorama (or anywhere else) you can add a neat filter to it in Pixlr for added color or texture.
  8. Aviary is just like Pixlr with fewer bells and whistles and a few different filter options.
  9. Dropbox is a cloud storage service that still provides free service up to a certain point (depending on how many gigs of storage you need). If you are creating things on your devices it really becomes important to save them to the cloud for quick access from all your other devices. Also, it keeps the storage on your phone and tablet from clogging up. Dropbox gives you the ability to share specified folders with other users so you don’t have to email files or pass them around on a thumb drive. Dropbox has a lot of great competitors to choose from but it just happens to be my cloud storage service of choice.
  10. Evernote is one of the most personally helpful services in my tech arsenal. Simply stated, after downloading Evernote on your computer, cell phone, and/or tablet you can write a note and it will be saved to each of those devices for future reference. In the bad old days, I would write something in iPhone’s notebook and wish I could magically make it appear on my desktop. Evernote does just that. You can save images, pictures, videos, websites, and written notes in Evernote. All these can be organized by topic and even favorited for quick reference. Most of my sermons begin as seeds of prayerful thought quickly jotted into Evernote to be revisited later.

I hope you found something helpful in this post. I’m sure the mega professionals quit reading a long time ago. Probably right after the word “amateur”. For those of you that stuck around, you might think some of these resources sound complicated or difficult to use. And they might be at first, but if you will play around with them it will become easier and easier. As you work, often with little to no thanks or remuneration, remember whatever you do for Christ is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

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If We Are What We Post (What Are We Saying)?

While we used to think that people mostly misrepresented themselves on social media, studies are finding more and more that the opposite is actually true. Studies are discovering that people represent themselves more accurately on their Facebook accounts than they do in person. This is encouraging and distressing at the same time. We have known for over a decade now that people’s inhibitions are lowered when using passive-aggressive forms of social interaction, that’s why so many inappropriate relationships and affairs have begun on places like Facebook and MySpace (back in the day). Similarly, that’s why people become bullies on Twitter who would never pick a fight in person. Studies used to argue that social platforms were influencing bad behaviour, but now experts are suggesting that who we are on social media is who we have really been deep down all along. So how should we Christians view this information and apply it to our lives?

1. What you post about and talk about the most on social media is probably what you care most about in life: if you never talk about God and family than those things are probably not the highest priorities in your life.

2. Your social media posts (or lack of them) say a lot about your marriage, your faith, your future, and your real priorities.

3. Are you a “Lurker” or a “Liker”? We all know the social media user who lurks around but never likes or engages with anything. Studies are suggesting that this imbalance gives a window into the soul. If you lurk and never like but you feel angry when no one likes your posts; you are likely a selfish narcissist. However, if you lurk and never like but don’t care if others like your posts; you are probably just cautious, private, and curious. There’s a big difference between the two. There has been much debate about the narcissistic side effects of social media. Needless to say, the Kardashian worshipping, selfie-obsessed, fame seeking mindset has no place in a godly heart (check out my very first blog post entitled Living Selflessly In a Selfie World and Clothed In Humility).

4. Speaking of selfishness and narcissism; the sheer amount of selfies and how you pose in said selfies is very telling as well. This is my personal observation, the amount of Christian woman (especially married ones) who are constantly taking seductive selfies is staggering.

5. So I think as Christians we should examine our social media “footprint” and ask ourselves are we a reflection of Christ, or are we allowing carnality to run rampant in our online presence. If the studies are right and our online presence is becoming the truest reflection of our inner selves than shouldn’t we be expressing our faith, our joy, our salvation, our love, our gratitude, our reverence, and so on?

6. If it is true that our inhibitions are lowered on social media and that our media footprint is a true reflection of who we are then we must use it as a platform to share the Gospel and evangelize the world. I know there is pressure (even within the Christian community) to remain quiet about our faith on public forums. I’m not advocating being obnoxious, mean-spirited or argumentative. But the cold reality is this; if you won’t share your faith on social media you definitely will not share it in person. Hollywood, advertisers, atheists, politicians, salesmen, and secularists impose their beliefs and preach at me every day on social media. Why should we be ashamed to speak publically of the single most important thing in our lives, the Gospel?

Similar articles The Pros and Cons of Facebook (Part 1) and The Pros and Cons of Facebook (Part 2). For further reading check out You Are What You Post: What Your Social Media Engagement Says About Your Personality, Stanford Scholar Findings, Psychological Stress and Social Media Use, and Social Media Posts May Be Indicators of Personality, Potential Health Risks, and Cultural Differences.

The Pros and Cons of Facebook (Part 2)

Last week I promised that I would follow up my article on the 7 cons of Facebook with a list of pros.  So without further ado let’s jump right into the 6 pros of being on Facebook.

1. It is a great way to share your faith. 

I know that we all have obnoxious Facebook friends who fuss and fight about religion, but don’t let their bad behavior keep you from lovingly (and creatively) sharing your faith in God.  We should be unashamed of the Gospel in every arena of our lives.

2. It is a great way to stay connected with friends and family.

Especially those loved ones who live far away.  I have spent the majority of my life living a long distance from family.  Facebook is a wonderful way to stay involved and up to date.

3. It is a great way stay connected with other churches and ministries.

I always look forward to scrolling through my newsfeed on Sunday evening to see all the wonderful reports of what God has done in other churches.

4. It is a powerful forum for inviting people to your church.

You can and should invite people to your church via Facebook.  You’d be surprised how many people will accept your invitation.

5. It is a good way to gauge someone’s spiritual health.

Church leaders can often gauge someone’s spiritual health by observing how they operate on social media.  I have been saddened many times to find out that an individual who seemed like a sincere Christian at church portrayed a very different persona on Facebook.

6. It can be a source of edification and inspiration.

Now certainly Facebook can be the exact opposite of edifying and inspiring, but if used correctly it can be uplifting.  I regularly come across articles and posts that support me spiritually.

FACE

The Pros and Cons of Facebook (Part 1)

So obviously I am a Facebook user (you likely found this article on Facebook).  I have weighed the pros and cons and believe that the good (in most cases) outweighs the bad.  Especially for churches.  Social media is a powerful tool for community evangelism and for creating awareness of your local church to very specific people.  I believe that every church should leverage social media for the sake of the Gospel.  Having said that, Facebook (and social media in general) can severally damage an individual’s reputation (check out this article entitled 18 Ways to Ruin Your Reputation on Facebook by Paul Steinbrueck).  Let’s begin by looking at seven cons of being on Facebook.  Next week I will follow up with a list of Facebook pros.

1. It can be a time drain.

It really, really, really can. Here are a few questions that you should consider before you allow those minutes to speed by surfing Facebook (or the internet in general for that matter).  Have I read my Bible today?  Have I made real human connections, especially when it comes to my family?  Have I spent time with the Lord in prayer?  Have I accomplished important daily goals?  Am I procrastinating right now?

2. It can hinder your relationships with real people.

If you find yourself in a room with another person (or persons) and you’re scrolling through Facebook it’s time for a reality check.  Put the device down and interact with real people.  Remember, the term Facebook friends is pretty misleading.  I am personally connected to thousands of people on Facebook who I don’t actually know.  Be very careful not to substitute virtual friendship for genuine (real life) friendship.

3. One moment of carelessness can do irreparable harm.

We’ve all seen the public meltdowns appear on our Facebook newsfeeds that made us wonder if a particular individual had lost his or her mind.  We’ve all seen the flashes of anger, the pity parties, the unexpectedly vulgar, and the irreversible rants.  These moments of unbridled emotion can drastically tarnish a reputation

4. It can open doors to inappropriate relationships.

Facebook has replaced the chat rooms of the 90’s.  One of social media’s strength’s is that it helps keep us networked with people that would otherwise be difficult to stay connected with on a semi regular basis.  However, there are lots of people whom we should not be networking with.  Old flames are just one of many examples of the inappropriate relationships that can be rekindled via Facebook.  Studies have proven time and time again that people let inhibitions down when connecting via the passive aggressive medium of the internet.  Guard your conversations, your connections, and keep yourself open and accountable at all times (the same is true for the phenomenon of text messaging).

5. It can destroy your witness.

Christians can destroy their witness by plastering their hypocrisy and ungodly behavior all over Facebook.  It does no good to criticize your church or pastor publically only to turn around and invite folks to visit that same church.  Another way that people destroy their witness on Facebook is when they try to bully unbelievers into submission or become overly argumentative rather than instructive.  Fussing, fighting, and debating rather than loving, teaching, and witnessing will quickly destroy a believer’s witness.

6. It can be depressing.

For the most part, people try to put their best foot forward on Facebook.  If you’re not careful you can wind up constantly comparing your imperfect life to everyone else’s seemingly perfect life.  Facebook can easily become the modern day mechanism for keeping up with the Jones’.

7. It can produce narcissism in your heart.

Narcissism by definition is a characteristic of those who have an over inflated idea of their own importance.  Social media can produce a false sense of celebrity stature that for some becomes intoxicating.  Humility is a biblical virtue that must be applied to our social media presence as well as our physical interactions.

FACE