Advice to Millennials

In dealing with and hoping to advise our fellow millennial citizens who range from eighteen to thirty-four years old there are some questions in my mind. Who would you listen to if advice were given? I can answer the question in part, you would probably not listen to your parents, nor would you listen to any older person and very possibly you would not listen to a minister. So, the question is, who could arrest your attention for possible enlightenment? Your peers would probably agree with all that you are now thinking. That is the option you would give your professor, the chance to open your thinking. But he or she would only reiterate what you have already been taught. Or maybe you would thumb through the latest list of movies on the subject in question. I hope you don’t mind my pointing out the fictional aspect of that option.

Well, it’s all complicated but you have more responsibility than you might think. So, I ask you to shake your head and think out of the millennial box.  I am not suggesting or asking that you must dress differently or change your hair style. I am only asking that you stretch your mind. Let me say, that by you doing this it will not help me at all, but there is a chance it might benefit you. If you would like to be different than your generation, try this ever so often. Stretching your mind will be a sure way of finding uniqueness since probably not many around you will be so daring. Don’t worry, you could not be an older person if you tried, nor will you ever be thirteen again. So, you must be yourself not a cookie cutter version of all around you. When you think out of the box, you realize no one could push God on you that is impossible. When you understand this, you will be thinking beyond the crowd. It is not possible for preachers to force this upon you. Reading the Bible cannot be forced upon you. Church attendance cannot be forced upon you.

Let me share a secret with you – your children will think you are nuts because what you think about life will be antiquated in 25 years, just like the car you now drive. Your thinking is headed for moth balls. It is on its’ way to becoming obsolete. As a millennial, you might have put God and the church aside which is your prerogative. But please allow me to say before you pull your thinking back into a narrow box, you are taking a lot on yourself. You can’t hug yourself to your own heart. You will find that you alone are just not enough. So, you can’t take anyone else’s idea about a lot of things including God because that is not something others can (or should be allowed to) decide for you. When you fight for your rights remember that others also have theirs. I am not stupid enough to think I can unmillennialize you but we all should realize that we need thinking that will last a lifetime.

Rev. O.C. Marler wears more hats than I can list in this one little bio spot. He is a highly sought after speaker, preacher, and teacher who is known for his powerfully engaging communication style (you can listen here). He currently travels the country preaching with his beloved wife Joan. They are both prolific writers of western and mystery genra fiction. Everyone should own a copy of O.C. Marler’s best selling book Doctrine Does Matter, which is a wonderfully readable explanation of how to be saved. On a personal note, Rev. Marler is a lifelong friend and mentor to me. During my Indiana Bible College years his classes left a lasting impact on my life. His advice, wise counsel, and example are invaluable to me. His ministry has shaped and influenced thousands of millennials throughout the United States.

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5 Tips for Introverted Leaders

Pastors and leaders come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types. I definitely fall into the introverted category (here’s a great article for inward pastors entitled 7 Ways to Thrive As an Introverted Pastor by Ron Edmondson). I was a shy kid and I kept pretty quiet in college too. I am one of those strange people who actually likes to read and study. But budding leaders are usually pushed out of their comfort zones into a more outgoing demeanor. For the most part, this is a positive progression but at times, it can be taxing on the spirit of an introvert.  Here are five tips that have helped me overcome the weaknesses and maximize the strengths of my introverted leadership style.

1. Resist the pressure to be something that you’re not. There’s a lot of pressure on pastors and leaders of all kinds to be dynamic. However, it’s important to remember that outgoing, highly extroverted leaders are not necessarily dynamic by virtue of their personality alone. In fact, those personality types come with their own set of struggles and weaknesses. Early on in ministry, I found myself trying to imitate leaders whose personalities were miles apart from mine. Before long I was miserable and felt like a complete failure. Did I need to mature and address a few character flaws? Yes. Did my entire personality need to be discarded before God could use me? Certainly not. In the Bible, you will find various leaders who had very different temperaments and yet they were all mightily used of God. And yes, many of them were introverts.

2. Resist the temptation to retreat within when under pressure. I would be lying if I told you that I had this little piece of advice down pat. I don’t. It’s normal for us introverts to pull away and become very inward when we are hurting, stressed, attacked, or feeling pressured. Grandma always said, “Isolation is the Devil’s playground.” She was right.

3. Surround yourself with people who understand and value you and your personality. Because it’s my default setting to retreat inwardly at unhealthy moments I strive to surround myself with people who understand my personality and respond accordingly. Cultivate relationships with friends and family that sustain you. Keep people close who will lovingly remind you to set the book down and leave the office from time to time. People who truly love and care about you will walk the healthy line between respecting your temperament and helping you adjust the flaws.

4. Know your personality limitations. I purposely didn’t call them weaknesses because not all limitations are weaknesses. Every leader should have a good measure of self-awareness. If understanding the personalities of others is important; understanding what makes you tick is paramount. For introverts, we can’t maintain the steady social schedules that our highly extroverted friends can. Find a balance that is healthy for you and learn your limits. Just as importantly, learn when to break out of your personality and be what is needed for the moment. For example, there are times when even the quietest individual must speak up, speak out, and speak long.

5. Know your personality strengths. We introverts do have strengths that we should use and we should use them often. Because our minds never quite seem to shut down we can be very thoughtful and considerate. We have a greater capacity for compassion than most, and we make good listeners when needed. We’re less likely to say something foolish in the heat of the moment. Our love for study and meditation makes the fundamental spiritual disciplines of prayer and Bible reading a natural part of our daily routines. We speak with conviction and sincerity. When we are loud, forceful, energetic, or angry it gets people’s attention because it is never contrived or overblown.