With Father’s Day quickly approaching I have taken time to pause and consider the importance of fatherhood. No one could ever deny the irreplaceable role that mother’s play in the lives of children, but in a culture where fathers are increasingly absent, minimized, and criticized it would do us well to consider a few areas where godly fathers should shine.
Dads must cherish their wives (Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 5:25).
Our children are watching and taking notes on how we fathers treat their mothers. Sons will emulate us and daughters often derive their self-perceptions by watching how you value the most important woman in your life.
Dads must spend time with their children (Ephesians 6:1-4).
There is no substitute for time spent with our children. We forfeit influence in our children’s lives when we fail to spend time with them. Make memories and teach life lessons while you can because if you don’t someone else (who likely doesn’t share your values) will.
Dads must raise their children to serve the Lord (Proverbs 22:6, Deuteronomy 6:1-9).
It’s alarming how many Christian parents I’ve heard saying things like, “I don’t want to force my beliefs on my children.” Be assured that every other religious and cultural force is working overtime to capture the hearts and minds of your children. Scripture is clear in telling us that godly parents are mandated to raise their children to serve the Lord. As a shining example for all future father’s Joshua famously declared, “…as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15).” A further point in this subject needs to be stressed because it is vital to the spiritual success of our children; the Christian faith must be taught and taught well. A “just do as I say and be quiet” parenting style will alienate our children and push them away from God, which leads nicely to point number four.
Dads must be patient teachers (Ephesians 6:4, 2 Timothy 3:14-15).
Children are going to make mistakes and mess up and they will require godly patience from their fathers if they are going to flourish. Remember, the greatest lesson that we ever teach our children will be the daily example that we set and not the words that we say.
Dads must be fair disciplinarians (Proverbs 13:24; 23:13-14).
Fathers who fail to lovingly and fairly discipline their children will live to regret the outcome. To be a thoughtful and fair disciplinarian takes time, energy, and self-control. Take caution not to discipline in anger but rather discipline in love.
First of all, let me say that “backsliding” is a very real thing. It is impossible to “backslide” if you were never standing where God wanted you to stand in the first place. The youth of our generation have grown up in a different world then our elders grew up in. There are new temptations of convenience. The devil has cleverly placed temptations in front of our youth and made sin easily accessible for them. Violence, profanity, pornography….it’s all just a click away now. You haven’t given them computer access? Satan says, “No problem, their cell phones will do.” Satan has provided our students lots of help to lead them on the way to backsliding. As the Church, it is our responsibility to counteract these attempts of the enemy, and stand against the fiery darts of the wicked. I believe our young people can live for God in the last days! I also believe that they can resist the temptations of this world if the Church will be the lighthouse that they need it to be in order to see their way on an ocean of easily accessible sins.
The problem is not what’s coming from the world; our youth understand that the world is a dark place. What they cannot understand is how darkness gets into the Church. Backsliding begins in our youth groups when they see the darkness in the Church, because they no longer know where to draw the lines of right and wrong. They begin to ask themselves questions like, “If darkness is in the Church, how are we any different than the world?” Please don’t misunderstand me; I don’t believe any of our churches want to see their kids backslide. Most often, we don’t even realize how we’re “helping” the process along. Here are seven ways church people might be obliviously “helping” youth backslide.
Talk bad about ministry. This is a great way to help your youth backslide. If you want to help them on the road to backsliding, keep on having those negative conversations at lunch on Sunday. “Why does Pastor always….?” Anyways, you get the point.
Never get involved. This is a great way to help your youth backslide. After all, you’re way too busy to help with the church right now. If we keep teaching our youth that God is the last priority, that will definitely help them make the decision to put God last in their life.
Speak in anger and not love. Correcting your youth in anger rather than love is a great way to help them backslide. After all, God is love. If you don’t want God to be a big part of their life, don’t do anything in love.
Seclude yourself. Your youth group is a community of great friends that believe in the same thing. So, by secluding yourself and your family, you have already helped the devil. I mean, who wants to be around their friends of like faith anyways? Oh wait… your youth do!